You're getting old...

At the ripe old age of twenty going on twenty one I have came to the conclusion, I am getting old. It is an unfortunate event that I must finally face up to, along with the fact that yes, one day I might turn thirty, and no it is not that big a deal. Who am I kidding, chances my liver and lungs, or my sanity, will hold out another nine years? Not likely.

Now adays the thought of a three day drinking binge is painful, the hangovers alone are agony these days, dying might be less painful. Tomorrow I am going out, and am considering not only not drinking much (a hangover at work the next is a not a thought I want to entertain right now) but also wearing flat shoes. Wearing heels feels like too much effort now unless it's a Saturday night. And dressing appropriately for the weather. The list is endless.

So here is some signs you're getting old:

1. Drinking becomes a challenge. Shots go out of the window, a night out is started with "no jager tonight," followed by "maybe a few sambucca, but no more than that," and "one or two tequila is ok I suppose." Drinking games feel barbaric and pre drinking involves a few glasses of wine, instead of a few bottles.
2. While out you tend to avoid clubs that are "too busy." If you can't move then you don't go any more, if it's too cold outside then you avoid smoking. If the toilets are horrible (which the majority of time they are) then you try to avoid going.
3. The hangovers are killer. A whole day in bed feels like the best way to recuperate. And if you need to do anything that day the thought is painful. Even the smell of a drink makes you feel sick, and food is best avoided the majority of the day.
4. When you see 6am it's no longer because you are just going to bed. Bed time is now half 10, 11 at a push. After having a nap earlier that day. 6am is now the time you get up, sober, for work etc. And a "late night" is staying up past midnight.
5. Everything starts to hurt. Constantly. Especially after anything that required minimal effort. 
6. When people phone you after 9ish they ask if they woke you, before telling you how tired you sound. Then get off the phone quickly so they can let you sleep.
7. You actually eat breakfast, for breakfast. Instead of chocolate, crisps and other junk food before 9am classes, and "breakfast foods" for lunch or dinner. As much as chocolate for meals sounds amazing the thought of it...

Chronicle

** Warning - Spoiler Alert **

We went to see Chronicle last week. The adverts for it make it look so much more interesting than it actually is! Basically, three guys find a hole and go down it, a big glowing thing gives them weird telekinesis power stuff and not only can they make objects fly, they can make themselves fly. Queue a very long time of them messing about these super powers, before one of them goes mad with power, kills his new BFF and ends up getting killed with his cousin, wiping out half the town in the process. The shaky camera at the start just makes you feel ill, the middle is way too long and drawn out, however the ending does bring the rest of the film back up, if it is somewhat predictable. And explaining the whole glowing thing giving them powers really would have helped make the film. 

The film has way too many clichés in it. 

1. Unpopular guy, broken home (sick mum, violent alcoholic father) and no friends? Check.
2. After getting superpowers boy attacks violent alcohol father?                                Check
3. Unpopular guy has "cool" cousin and suddenly becomes BFF's with cousin and cousin's football start friend, who ditches his own friends and girlfriend.            Check
4. Unpopular guy develops his powers more and more (namely because he has more free time) and subsequently goes mad with power, killing football star, and going mental at cousin.                                                                                                                  Check

Amongst others. Every plot development in the film plays on a clichés, and not in a good way. Some clichés are good, the chick flicks always being the geeky girl gets the guy in the end (She's All That, Cinderella Story, Chalet Girl), the horror film that the slutty girl will always die, and the killer will need to be "killed" a few times to really die, and the action films, the "hero" will always save the day and get the girl.

Real Life

The most popular new craze right now, "reality" shows, where we get to see into the lives of "real" people who have "real" lives. But in reality, these shows are nowhere near real, or nothing like real life. The cast all drive flash cars, own their own shops, clubs and businesses, have expansive designer wardrobes we can only dream of, and are mostly in their early 20's.

What started as an American craze, with shows such as "Laguna Beach" and "The Hills," we are now faced with an army of fake tanned, hair extensions, fake nailed, fakes. And that's not just the girls. These people have been skyrocketed into super stardom. Walk into a room full of people and they will know what The Only Way Is Essex is, they will know about Lauren and Mark's messed up relationship, they will know Joey's cute stupidity.  

We have a society that feeds on celebrity gossip, and now all you have to do to be classed as a celebrity is to be lucky enough to live in the right area and get a film crew following you around. And these people don't even have to be friends with the original cast members, auditions are held every series to find the next star, and then they are fit into the show, manipulated by producers to fit in.

So far in the UK we have "Made in Chelsea," who are all pretentious, I have a hard time believing the situations they find themselves in, randomly deciding to just jet off to luxurious locations and throwing spurr of the moment elaborate parties.

We have "TOWIE," who are too orange to be real. Whenever a star gets too big for their boots they quite, go on some "celebrity" reality show and join a host of other Z-List celebs who are clinging to their 5 minutes of fame. Then a new character just happens to appear, who just happens to "meet" a love interest and be besties with the other characters.

Finally, "Desperate Sousewives," which I have never watched, but I have been told it's worse than the others.

I will admit, as much as I think they are fake, I will watch these shows. And I will bitch about the people, read articles about them, and follow them on Twitter. But just know, these shows are loosely scripted, they are NOT real.