After discussing "which Disney character you are" at college today got me thinking about the Disney Princess's. One take on Snow White was that she was a hussy for living with seven random men that she found in a forest and then ran off with the first guy that she saw when she woke up from her "death." Fair point there. This got me thinking about some of the other characters from Disney and how messed up they are, or are thought of now. Here goes my take on the Disney Princesses.

1. First off I kinda agree with the take on Snow White. She's all innocent and fourteen. And her stepmother views her a threat? Really? She's still just a kid! Then the woodsman guy lets her off because she's beautiful, she lives with the Seven Dwarfs, who she cooks and cleans for and pretty much becomes their housewife, then runs off with the Prince, who only rescued her because he had also fallen in love with her beauty. Nice. Also, she had to be saved by true loves first kiss. That could have gone totally wrong if she wasn't in a fairy tale. 
2. Next Cinderella. The poor girl gets abused by her step-mother and step-sisters after losing both her parents. Her life pretty much sucks. But her friends, the animals of the estate, make her a pretty dress to wear to the ball. Evil step-family wreck her dress. Fairy Godmother makes a new one with magic. Yay. Cinderella goes to the ball and her and Prince Charming fall in love instantly, hard to believe that they can be so in love without actually speaking to each other or knowing each other but hey whatever they want. She runs away, he stalks her across the country with her shoe, creepy but it worked. Happily ever after.
3. Aurora. *Why do all the Princesses have strange names?!* Anyway, she is so important that the whole kingdom gets a holiday, nice one. But oh wait, really it's just an excuse to use her to betroth her to Prince Phillip so that their kingdoms are always friends. Great birthday present! Cue evil fairy curse (death/enchanted sleep) and good fairy gifts (beauty, singing and not death just enchanted sleep). After years of being lied to about her identity Aurora meets a random guy in the forest, again the whole love at first sight. Aha. Next devastation about being lied to, enchanted sleep, an entire kingdom under a spell and oh coincidently, random guy turns out to be the prince who swoops in and save the day. No heartbreak for that two. 
4. Now Belle. She appears smart and not as pathetic as the rest can be. She even reads instead of singing and making friends with animals. None of these princesses have very good people skills evidently. And she rejects Gaston, who to be fair is a bit of an asshole. Arrogant and just wants a mother/housewife. Belle had the balls to reject this, which is a good sign. She also has the balls to go save her dad and put up with the Beast. She does try to escape but oh wait, Beast has a heart and saves her from wolves.Cute. She nurses him and they fall for each other. Followed by alot of crap from Gaston, Belle and Beast (really a prince) live happily ever after too.
5. Finally Jasmine *Pocahontas and Mulan aren't quite as bad as the rest* Jasmines dad is trying to make her get married. She disagrees with this. In swoops Aladdin. He lies to her through the majority of their relationship, but after saving her he finally comes clean. They get married. Good on you, love the guy that fed you a load of bull to make you fall for him. 

Great roles models. And great false expectations. Maybe one day the guy who always lies to you will become your prince. Or running away and loosing a shoe will help you get a guy. Or just be an amazing housewife. No thanks. Real life is so much more interesting. Be right back away to find a fictional prince.

*Also Ariel is kinda the worst. But that rant would take too much time.

Summer Lovin....

The movie Grease. We all love it, it's cute, sing songy film about love conquering all, sort of, and the cool kids, being kind of arseholes to the "geeks", getting the happy ever after they want, and a whole list of things that are bad influences on kids.

1. Lets take the whole purity think first. Sandy is "too pure to be pink." She's in high school, and is a non smoking virgin who doesn't drink. Big deal. But for the Pink Ladies that is a sign of being "lame." Poor Sandy, not only do they bitch about her, they sing about it. Harsh.
2. Next the sex. Boy meets girl, boy falls for girl. Boy goes and sings about non existent sex to friends. Same time girl sings about boy being sweet and cute etc, not knowing that boy is lying to his friends, and is at the same school, and her new friends know the boy. Also, seeing more than one guy at time - go for it. Sneaking out to have unprotected sex - go for it. Sing about it all - go for it! There is worse things I could do.....teasing the guy is worse than sleeping around, staying home waiting on the right guy is worse. Yes, yeah that's it.
3. Smoking. Smoking is what the cool kids do. So in that case smoke. There is cigarettes in nearly every scene, even in the sports scene. Next cool thing to do - drink.
4. Gangs are cool. Especially gangs with clever names. Pink Ladies, T Birds... The gang is even better if you have a rival gang. 
5. Finally, they guy will try to change for you, but realistically, you will change for him. You will smoke, you will become ok with pre-marital sex, you will dress like a slag. And he will love it.

Moral of the story, become a different person, act cool and change who you are, then the cool kids will like you and the coolest boy will fall for you. Sorted. Be right back, away to find a new me...

**I love the film. 

Someone Like You

"Never mind I'll find someone like you..." Well thank god for that, we don't need to find someone like Adele, because unfortunately everywhere we turn Adele is screaming, or rather moaning, in our faces. Get over it, I already have.

It was over from day one, with that song "Chasing Pavements." Yes, please give up for a while. Either record new songs, actually go to at least one of your scheduled gigs or get out of my face.

Yes, Adele is talented, she has an amazing voice, and if I could sing like her then I would. But move on. There are only so much times I can hear "Someone Like You" before it gets ridiculous. 

Rant over.